The Coffee Chat Advice Students Wish They Heard Earlier(Most students are doing this wrong) Students often tell me: “I’ve done 15 coffee chats, and nothing happened.” That’s usually the first sign they’re approaching coffee chats the wrong way. One of the biggest misconceptions students have is that coffee chats are a box to check. They think: “If I do enough coffee chats, eventually I’ll get a job.” That’s not how it works. The students who get the most out of coffee chats approach them very differently. They treat them as purposeful conversations designed to gather information and deepen their understanding of the job. Every question they ask has a reason behind it. They’re not just asking questions. They’re building knowledge. The Real Goal of a Coffee ChatThere are two main goals. 1. Gather InformationYou’re trying to understand:
This matters more than most students realize. Every year, people enter jobs and quickly discover: “This isn’t what I thought it would be.” That creates problems for everyone. Employers want people who understand the role before they join. Coffee chats help you reduce that risk. 2. Understand What Great Looks Like
The more you understand what excellence looks like, the better prepared you’ll be to develop those skills. And, especially if you have those skills, you’ll know the importance of highlighting them on your resume and in the actual interview process if you get selected. Click here to sign up and get your own B-School Hub Weekly! 3. Generating advocatesFinally, you are trying to make a good enough impression that this person would be willing to pass your resume along when it comes time to select people to interview The reality is that it won’t happen every time, but the more you do the “right” things – the types of things we highlight in this newsletter, the better your chances of this happening. The Students Who Stand OutThe students who do coffee chats well usually show a few things:
They’re not asking the most basic questions. Instead of: “What does your day-to-day look like?” They ask more nuanced questions about the subtleties of the job. That signals they’ve been thinking seriously about the career. Ask “Second-Level Questions”One of the easiest ways to stand out is to ask what I call second-level questions. These go beyond basic information. For example: Instead of asking someone to walk through their resume, you might say: “I noticed on LinkedIn you moved from Company A to Company B. What was driving that decision, and did the reality match your expectations?” That shows two things immediately:
Those are exactly the kinds of conversations professionals enjoy having. 3 Coffee Chat Questions That Work Extremely WellIf you’re unsure what to ask, these are excellent starting points. 1️⃣ Understanding the role “What parts of this job are hardest for people to understand from the outside?” 2️⃣ Understanding success “What separates the people who become really good at this job from everyone else?” 3️⃣ The ‘amazing hire’ question “If someone joined your team and after 12–24 months people said ‘Wow, that was an amazing hire,’ what would that person have done?” The answers are often incredibly insightful. What Makes Someone Want to Help YouSometimes a coffee chat goes so well that the person thinks: “I should introduce this student to someone else.” That usually happens when a student shows:
There’s also something students often miss. When someone introduces you to another person, their reputation is on the line. They’re thinking: “If I send this student to someone else, will they represent themselves well?” The more confident they feel about that, the more likely they are to help. What to AvoidSome mistakes make a coffee chat feel like a waste of time. Don’t ask questions you could easily answer yourself. If something can be found in two minutes on Google or LinkedIn, it’s better to build on that information instead of asking for it directly. Also, avoid asking questions that don’t seem to have a clear purpose. If someone finishes the conversation wondering: “What did this student actually get out of that?” …it usually means the student didn’t approach the conversation thoughtfully. You’d be surprised how often this happens, and it’s typically someone who is approaching coffee chats like a “check the box” exercise. What Makes Someone MemorableInterestingly, people rarely remember students because of one amazing conversation. What they remember are students who take advice and run with it. For example:
One thing I often encourage students to do is write on LinkedIn. It shows:
When someone actually does it and follows up later, that stands out. Because surprisingly few people implement the advice they receive. The One Rule for Every Coffee ChatIf there’s one rule students should remember, it’s this: Have a conversation. Bring a list of questions. But don’t treat them like a script. Listen carefully. Ask follow-up questions. Follow your curiosity. The best coffee chats feel natural because the student is genuinely engaged in the discussion. And when someone feels like you’re really listening to them and thinking about what they’re saying… That leaves a very positive impression. Coffee Chat Checklist (Save This)Before the chat: ✔ Research the person 🧐 During the chat: ✔ Listen carefully After the chat: ✔ Send a thank-you note 📝 The students who do this well aren’t just networking. They’re learning faster than everyone else. And that’s what eventually sets them apart. |
